Simmons, Rachel. (2002). Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls. Reviewed by Anne Frary, Adams State College

Simmons, Rachel. (2002). Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls. NY: Harcourt Inc. Pp. 301 $14 (papercover)   ISBN 0-15-602734-8 Reviewed by Anne Frary Adams State College December 12, 2006 Spurred by a childhood bullying incident whose trauma still existed some sixteen years later, Rachel Simmons went to the library at Oxford University in search of answers concerning female bullying. What she did not find there, as there was a great lack of information on the subject, led her to a one year study of women of all ages and the result that bullying or being bullied had on their lives. Guided by the work of psychologists Lyn Mikel Brown and Carol Gilligan, Simmons used their “Listening Guide” (1992) to conduct interviews, a method that follows the lead of the interviewee in an effort to encourage and empower. The interviews were held mostly in ten schools in just three different parts of the country, allowing Simmons to become part of the community in which she was researching. Although there have been other studies and books that have addressed the topic of female bullying, Odd Girl Out has succeeded in reaching more of the mainstream population, as the book has become a national best seller. The book alternates between findings by the author and actual stories told by the victims and the perpetrators of bullying. The interviewees’ accounts keep the reader’s interest, while the findings reveal much information about the hidden aggression that girls can display. Simmon’s premise is that girls are not taught to express their anger; our culture does not allow girls to be aggressive, competitive, or many times to even disagree. Girls are taught to be nice at all costs, and as a result, their anger is repressed and presents itself in sneaky, covert bullying. Alternative aggression is the name that the author uses to label the often complex, manipulative behavior that young girls display in an effort to control their social lives. Girls are lied about, ignored, disgraced and humiliated for no apparent reason other than the fact that they have been chosen as the scapegoat du jour. Repeatedly the reader is allowed into the lives of adolescent girls as they use relationships as the weapon to fight their battles. The threat of solitude, being left out, being told “you are no longer my friend” (or anyone else’s for that matter) is shown as the worst situation in which a young or teenaged girl can find herself. The author’s accounts of the victims and bullies leaves no doubt that there is quite a problem in our culture in this area. Some of the stories are so sad and some so outrageous that the reader is left wondering how and why this can happen. One particularly striking example was of a girl named Vanessa, who put up with constant criticism, cruel jokes that involved the entire school, harassing notes and hate mail, as long as her “best friend” would not cut off the relationship. Her remark was, “It was like I was her best friend and yet I was her total victim.” (p. 51). A particularly insidious result of the rumor spreading, secret looks and social exclusion is its subtle erosion of a young girl’s self-esteem and confidence. The leader of the alternative aggression has built an alliance of girls around her that tortures the victim, but says there is nothing wrong. The victim is told that it is her fault, that she has no right to be angry. The young girl begins to doubt her ability to assess reality and feels as though she is crazy. As the author says, “…the lights go out of the voices, opinions, and feelings of these girls.” (p. 83). The author deals with such subjects as the unfulfilling search for popularity, cliques and the difference between white, middle-class girls and girls of color in their ability to express anger. African American girls are taught by their mothers to be openly aggressive. However, because this directness is linked to their marginalization, (their forthrightness is the only way they can be heard), it cannot serve as a model for girls to overcome their sense of powerlessness. Another subject dealt with is the young girls’ derogatory label of “she’s all that,” which is given to a girl who is assertive, self-confident and resists the self-sacrifice and restraint that defines good girls. The term is used for the girl that the majority dislikes and yet would give anything to be. The last section of the book gives guidelines for improving the lot of girls faced with bullying. Simmons offers strategies to combat alternative aggression taken straight from the women and girls she interviewed. She asked them to assess their parents’ response to their ordeals and came up with constructive suggestions for parents to use when dealing with a child who is in the middle of the torment of bullying. The suggestions are very practical and are ones parents will actually be able to use. The author then gives her opinion of what needs to be done to improve the situation in schools. She calls for changing the rules and introducing more inclusive anti-bullying language into schools. She emphasizes the need for providing teachers, parents and students a neutral language to name girl’s aggression. Teachers need training as most are unaware of the social and psychological impact of stifling anger. Especially noteworthy is the section that gives real life advice and solutions specifically to girls in cliques, who are perhaps involved in bullying, and to victims. This book is well-written and informative. It exposes, as the title says, the hidden culture of aggression. The existence of problems between adolescent girls is no secret, but the attitude that it is just a stage or a rite of passage minimizes the severe consequences alternate aggression has on the lives of young girls. The author brings to light the severity of the problem in an interesting and useful format. Parents, teachers, young girls, and counselors would all benefit from reading this book. References Brown, L., M., & Gilligan, C. (1992). Meeting at the crossroads: Women’s psychology and girls’ development. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press. About the Reviewer Anne Frary, Adams State College, Alamosa, Colorado. Anne is a graduate student in the Master’s Degree in Counseling Program Online. She has worked as a staff member of an elementary school in Farmington, NM, for 11 years and is interested in school counseling. Copyright is retained by the first or sole author, who grants right of first publication to the Education Review.